Questions

Occasionally we hit a brick wall.
No inspiration flows to the surface.
It seems all we have are questions. There is nothing wrong with questions. Questions are good. They keep us from being complacent or even lazy.

Questions and their answers may require action or change. Sometimes it is much easier to stay with the status-quo, to do what we always do. And guess what? You get what you always got!

Questions are often a sign of imminent change. Change in direction, change in commitment, or maybe a realization that no change is required.

Today I have been pondering church services. A priest stated earlier in the week that we don’t come to church for ourselves, but for God. He suggested we might not feel like going, because it is bad weather; we may feel we don’t get anything out of it, or we want some space for ourselves. He continued, there are days he does not feel like taking a service. Maybe he wants some time for himself too!

To be honest, I am not sure that his reasoning or theology strikes a chord with me. I am not particularly clear on the fact that we go to church for God. I am not convinced that God expects us to show up. After all, if God is in all, and all things are in God, we don’t have to go anywhere to meet God.

I think people go to Church for a variety of reasons, ranging from connecting with like-minded people, to hoping for spiritual nourishment or inspiration. Maybe it does make them feel good? Those who have been brought up in the Roman Catholic Church might think they are under obligation? During lockdown, those in power stated that attending Mass by watching ‘online’ were fulfilling their obligation. This is another aspect that doesn’t sit well with me. ‘Obligation’ and ‘duty’ are red flags for power and control!

I understand the reason why we do things can be quite convoluted. There is often some historical reasoning and possible current hopes, which stimulate us to go to church. As long as the service is over and done within an hour, because there are other items on our busy ‘to-do lists’.

It is great to build community. The phrase ‘no man is an island’ certainly rings true. Community, and a sense of belonging are essential for our mental well-being. Church can fill that need and desire. However….

People are quite happy to chat before the service, rather than observe prayer full silence, because most people are caught up in their own lives and have enough on their plate.

Friendliness is vital for a Christian Community, but how many people stay behind and chat to newcomers? How many are willing and able to visit those in age care facilities, or who are lonely at home?

So do we need to go to church? And for whom?

My next question is, what is our expectation, and is that expectation valid? 

My hope is that the church community is engaging and interested in spiritual matters. That there are people with open and enquiring minds; people who are open to explore different concepts and a wider range of theology.

So far, my experience is that people do what they always do. They don’t seem to think or read much broader than their Parish priest, or the parish priest they grew up with. Indeed, the older generation seem to accept whatever is offered. The younger generation is too busy with work, family and sport commitments, the hour a week is all they have. Most people seem more interested in reality TV than reading philosophy or theology. So if you want anything more engaging than what is offered, you will have to find it yourself.

Faith appears to be dying out in our society.
And so I am pondering the consequences of that.

I wonder if the ‘double belonging’ like Zen and Catholicism will be the new norm.

Seek peace. Find it within.

 

Off the Fence

When you think about sitting on the fence you will find is not that comfortable. Fences are often narrow, and it takes skill to climb up and wiggle to find the right spot. Once you get there, it is astonishing how long we manage to remain on top of that fence.

The reason we climb up is not always straight forward. Sometimes we need time to process information and weigh up the pros and cons before a decision is reached. Sometimes we climb upon the for mentioned fence to protect ourselves from others who are more outspoken, or who ‘know it all’. Sitting on the fence buys the climber a certain amount of time.

After years of sitting on the fence, I decided to come off.  As a mature adult I can now make my own choices and decisions; as a ‘grown up’ you can do what you like, right? Clearly it is not that simple, there is still a fear of being judged.

The people who raised us have a persistent voice, and I am sure you still hear the voice of a teacher, parent or other elders, sharing their insights and teaching with a clarity we struggle to mimic or even ignore. I cannot remember when I stopped ‘looking over my shoulder’, wondering what ‘they’ might have to say about my choices and how I would answer their ‘questions and concerns’.

I am Dutch, down to earth, practical and intelligent. So why would I be interested in God? Or in faith-traditions and theology?  I tried to explain and share my insights, but for some reason, matters of faith are not always intelligible; they are matters of the heart. In general, I am quite capable of getting my point across, but not always in faith matters.

Stumbling and stuttering, I worked my way through the real and imagined conversations. I knew I was responding to a sense of calling and it felt right, despite more struggles and scuffles in and outside the ‘church’. I knew I didn’t have all the answers and there were and are days, where I look at myself and wonder if I got it all wrong?

For example, look at how the church as an institution, treats women, teaches dogmas whose purpose appears to be exercising power and control, or where asking questions is seen as not having the ‘right faith’, etc.

As a result I climbed the fence between Buddhist practice, mindfulness, meditation and a Christian Faith where God loves us. After years of wriggling and peeking over the fence on either side, I finally discovered that the fence was not connected to anything. There is just some fencing put up in the middle of the paddock of faith.

I discovered that I could be a committed Franciscan and have a so-called Buddhist spiritual practice at the same time. You see, there is a long history of Christian meditation, and Buddhist do not necessarily deny the existence of God, they simply get on with being aware and letting go.

I was brought up with the saying: “We all have to work out our own salvation”. Whether salvation and awakening or being saved could be the same thing for different people was a question I had not learned to ask. Some people would argue that this is a matter of culture and language rather than belief systems.

The amusing thing is that the Bible teaches that we are ‘saved by grace’. There is nothing you have to do! 

Buddhist’s teach that once you realise that there is nothing you have to do, simply be present in the moment and that is your 'awakening'. Simple but hard to do.

So I have come off the fence, I practice meditation, I read the ‘heart sutra’ and the Bible. I still question some teachings of the church, and I wonder if God does the same!

 

 

Seek Peace. Find it within.