Challenges

Completed paintings, if there is such a thing, rarely show the challenge and frustration the painter goes through before the end result is acceptable. To be able to re-create what is in font of you or in the mind’s eye requires skill and patience.

My latest painting consists of a branch of an apple tree. Apples are one thing to paint, the lush, fat fruit with a crunch to it, is hard to put on a canvas. However leaves, with the shades of green, or with a hint of red, a brow speck or the illusion of white in it, are a challenge. Do you ever stop and examine a leaf? Those of us who see colour can get overwhelmed with the plethora of hues and shades.

My teacher keeps asking the same question to each individual; “What you see?”  We see shapes, negative shapes and colour. If you are like me and are too sparse with paint, you have to keep mixing the same colour over and over again; a little variation might make a huge difference. Sometimes this is great. It creates depth and form, sometimes it is a disaster, and the newly acquired tint may ruin hours of dedicated painting.

Painting is a challenge, a rewarding challenge when it turns out the way I saw it in my mind’s eye, whether it is copied from a picture or freehand. Imitation, can be a great tool to aid in learning a new skill.

In our spiritual journey, we are encouraged to imitate Christ. This simple statement, however, can create some anxiety. Who are we to follow? The historical Jesus or the Cosmic Christ. Or are we encouraged to be the best person we can be? To grow into ourselves, as God intended us to be. I am not sure about you, but I do ‘me’ quite well, I couldn’t be my best friend or my husband. I have to be me. Whole and complete as God intended me to be.

St Francis calls us to be Christ-like, living the gospel life. Letting go of our earthly desires, spending time ‘in the gaze of God’ and looking after those in need. We are called to share the Good News, the love of God and to build a more fraternal world. 

Like painting, this takes practice, an open mind and commitment.

Seek Peace and find it within.

Ladders to heaven

In a recent conversation about spiritual discipline, we talked about focus prayer—the challenge of distraction and purity of heart and spirit. “The ladder of Divine Ascent” was mentioned, but not explored. We talked about the origin of distractions.

 

This conversation was the starting point for me, for some research. Most of us have heard about the ‘Jacob’s ladder’ in Genesis, where Jacob, in his dream, sees the ladder between heaven and earth. Jacob understood this ladder to be the bridge between God and humanity.

When we think of a ladder, we tend to think of climbing up—climbing up to change a light bulb or even to get on the roof. I remember a ladder being used to rescue someone from an ice hole. In both cases, the ladder is used to bridge a gap.

 

In Jacob’s story, the ladder was an image of connection and conversion. Similar to the Torah for the Jewish people who see it as a connection or bridge between God and people. 

‘The Ladder of Divine Ascent’ or ‘Ladder of Paradise’, was written by John Climacus around 600 AD. It became an ascetic handbook for monks. In it, Climacus describes the path of spiritual progress. It has thirty rungs, to represent the thirty years of Jesus’ life on earth. Around the ladder are pictures of demons and beings praying for those on the ladder. The journey to the top of the ladder, where Jesus awaits, is full of obstacles of sin and desires, according to Climacus. 

 

Initially, I found the conversation disturbing. There was mention of evil spirits and good spirits. I struggle with some of these concepts. It seems too easy to say that the evil spirits are trying to distract you. That the devil is after you and that the devil will do anything to stop you from praying. Those who practice any form of meditation or centering prayer will know that the mind is powerful. To be able to focus the mind takes an enormous amount of practice. So to say that it is the evil spirits trying ‘to get you’, doesn’t make sense to me. 

What does that mean for the concept of self-discipline and free will? How does this notion of having to climb the ladder to heaven, relate to the generally accepted idea that we don’t have to do anything?

 

For me, the goal of the spiritual life lies in union with God; to be the best person I can be; guide my choices in life. Buddhist say, all you need to do is being present. The ladder of virtue, or the Ladder of Paradise, were teaching tools for the monks. The temptations the monks were battling, were mostly desires of the mind. These are desires you and I may have too.

 

Desires, temptations and virtues may play on our minds also.

Who is control? Is it you? Is it I? Are the spirits accountable for our choices?

 

St Ignatius talks about the discernment of spirits; the concept of consolation and desolation. In consolation, our thoughts and actions bring us closer to God; and in desolation, our thoughts and actions take us away from God. Ignatius taught the Examen, which is a practise where the individual looks back on their day and discerns where they experienced God. In paying close attention to our feelings, we may find the answers to our desires and choices. 

 

My challenge lies in making the decision of who is in charge, me or the spirits? Spiritual warfare is not part of my theology, which does not mean there is no evidence of its existence. For me, it is about self-awareness, and the realisation that climbing ‘the ladder’ is not a requirement from God. It is an aid for the individual to remain focused on their spiritual goal.

 

Do you think there are spirits/ demons out there to distract us on purpose? Are you in control of your life?

What helps you to discern what decision to make?

 

 

 

 

Seek Peace and find it within.

Writing as Spiritual Practice

People are busy. The demands of work, exercise, team sports and family life, in general, does not leave much time for hobbies or spiritual practices. During the lockdown due to Covid-19, there was an initial panic of how the country would cope without our busy schedules. The country coped very well. The air became cleaner; the birds returned into the city, sounds from further away became audible again. It seems nature sighed a sigh of relief. And so did the people. We found a new rhythm, and it wasn’t always easy. However, the demands ‘of the office’ could be dealt with at home. Sure the children missed their mates, people died, and others wanted to get married. Life during lockdown was no ‘picnic’. It sure had its challenges.

 

On the other hand, people took a good look at their present lives and commitments. Some decided to retire, others to re-evaluate their spending of money and time. In the wake of what is happening in the world, things became relative. In general, people valued having time to themselves and enjoyed family life.

  

I wonder how many people re-engaged with a spiritual practice, whether in the form of art, prayer or meditation. Spiritual Disciplines include a wide variety of practices.

Writing is a tool for reflection and gaining insight, if you trust your inner wisdom to come out. As a child, I used to keep a diary, nothing earth-shattering, I was far too worried someone might find it. I still find journal writing a helpful tool to process life experiences and an excellent tool for self-care and discovery.

 

Henri Nouwen said:

 “Writing can be a true spiritual discipline. Writing can help us to concentrate, to get in touch with the deeper stirrings of our hearts, to clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions to reflect on our experiences to give artistic expression to what we are living and to store significant events in our memories”.

 

Writing as a spiritual practice, is more than writing liturgy or prayers. It is a tool to gain insight and to develop intuition, or more precise to be attentive to the nudging of the Spirit.

Writing as a spiritual practice challenges me to be honest with myself, to question my beliefs and the teachings of the Church. The dogmas may be black and white. Life is not. Life is more than the grey-scales some see; there is an exuberance of colour and excitement.

 

Now that I have reached the age of maturity, I no longer want to look over my shoulder and worry what other people think. There is no need to hide behind the common held beliefs; it is time to explore and decipher what those beliefs and philosophies means to me.

Writing is a gift from God, like painting and all other creative expressions. The fascinating part is that when I put my fingers on the keyboard, I never know what rolls out of my fingers. Words can be tricky; they have a life of their own!

 

Whatever you write, be honest with yourself and trust your inner wisdom. The saying “Don’t ask if you are not prepared to hear the answer” might be right for some places, I think you might be surprised if you trust the writing process.

Another saying is: “When you ask the question, you are ready for the answer, (which is already within you)”. In many cases this will be true too. At times in our writing, we may surprise ourselves, we may have an inclination, but writing helps to process the quests of life.

 

There are many posts and articles on writing as a spiritual practice. If you want to explore this, you could start with writing about ‘how you are feeling today’, or ‘what is your deepest desire’. Reflect on what you need to feel at peace, or what you do when you feel at peace.

 

Happy writing!

 

Seek Peace and find it within

Ignation Contemplation

Do you have a rich inner life with the ability to visualize and daydream? In that case, praying with Scripture may well suit you.

 

I suppose there are as many definitions of prayer as there are people. We all have an idea of what prayer is about. We can divide prayer is corporate or personal prayer using the old and trusted prayers taught by parents, the Church and maybe at school.

We can separate prayers in other ways; for example, there is free expression, liturgical prayers, prayer with art forms, and also praying with Scripture.

 

Prayer is a vast subject. Many people think prayer is talking to God or thinking about the God ‘out there’. Prayer is, above all personal, and it starts with you; with your reality and experience. Prayer is about a relationship, similar to a relationship between people.

 

Our deepest self is within us, and that is where we are meeting the God within.

St Ignatius would agree with that notion. He says: “God speaks to us in our deepest human experiences, through our feelings, desires thoughts and ideas”. We give meaning to our world through thoughts, feelings and emotions. Our outer life is filled with demands of work, children, chores etc. We talk about a rich inner life; this is where we reflect and meditate, where we mull things over and use our imagination. This nourishes our creative spirit. And probably our sense of well-being.

 

St Francis of Assisi recreated the first Nativity scene in 1223. Although Ignatian Spirituality is has made the use of imagination popular, it was St Francis who understood that ordinary people relating to the Holy Family was a powerful experience that was deeply meaningful to the people of his time.

 

Ignatian Contemplation uses a passage from Scripture and invites you into the scene using your imagination. To make use of all your senses. What do you hear? Who is speaking? Are the conversations light-hearted, or is there confusion? What other noises might there be in the background? Seeing, what colours stand out, who is present, what is their mood like? What about fragrance? What can you smell? Is it pleasant? What do you taste? Feel, can you imagine what the surroundings feel like, the coarseness of the garments maybe? Depending on the scene, you might be able to identify a variety of things you can engage with.

 

If you are ready to try this approach, I suggest you chose a story from the gospels where you meet with Jesus and others. For example, the woman at the well in John’s gospel.

As you begin, place yourself in the presence of God. Then think about and clarify in your mind what your hopes are of this encounter.

 

Read the passage slowly, so you are familiar with the scene, become a spectator. When you reread it and remember the conversations, the mood and the scene you place yourself within. At the end, you may want to have a conversation with Jesus.

 

You may wonder if the thoughts and conversation are simply a result of your imagination? A Jesuit priest told me once that if God can speak to us through other people and situations, surely God can use your imagination too!

 

Seek Peace and find it within.

Try or Train

After years of serving as a soldier, Brother Lawrence joined the Carmelite community in 1629 in Paris. The Carmelites were originally a strict order, but things changed overtime. Teresa of Avila together with John of the Cross, reinstated some old habits, making the Carmelites again a strict order.

 

Brother Lawrence (born as Nicholas Herman) was assigned to kitchen duties. He didn’t like doing the dishes, or steaming pots and pans. He didn’t like the same work, day in day out. However, we know about Brother Lawrence because he changed the drudgery to devotion. Nothing changed in the kitchen, only his attitude. His time of prayer continued during his work, and his work continued during his prayer. He said he felt as much peace in the kitchen washing floors as kneeling in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

 

Brother Lawrence was especially known for his serenity and devotion to God. He said: “We ought not to grow tired of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is performed”.

 

Spiritual practices are creating a habit, regular actions, which may grow into a spiritual discipline.  A spiritual discipline is an action; it is not something that comes over us. Like Brother Lawrence, whose day was filled with conversing with God, growing in awareness that God is close to us, near us and wanting this deep personal connection. His practice became his spiritual discipline overtime.

 

Trying doesn’t create the skills we need. It is about training. A rugby player does not become a star player by simply trying when he is on the field. Every player has to train to be fit, fast and accurate. They train on their own and as a team. 

Spiritual practises are like that; they are part of a healthy lifestyle. We have to be engaged in our practices, in a sense we have to train our spiritual agility. Otherwise, we become like couch potatoes, sluggish and lazy.

 

As Frank Laubach observed: “If you are weary of some a sleepy form of devotion, probably God is as weary of it as you are”. 

Spiritual practices require discipline. No matter what your choice of practice is. Practise makes perfect; practice deepens our relationship with the Divine. Attaining to a practice helps us, the practitioner, the Divine doesn’t keep a score.

 

So whether you meditate, practice the presence of God, paint or work in the garden, if that is how you connect with the Divine, it will aid in your spiritual well-being.

Spiritual practices deepen our awareness to awakening and help us to enter the Stillness.

 

Peace  comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Buddha

Atelophobia – the fear of imperfection

Franciscan spirituality is known for simplicity, joyful living and humility. The essence of Franciscan spirituality is the love of God. That love is central to gospel living; acceptance for those who are different and focused on service rather than selfishness. Francis and his followers lived a 'gospel life'. Gospel living sounds simple; in reality, it can be a challenge. The love of God is central in issues of Social Justice; Pope Francis talks about mercy. Franciscans are also known for their care of creation, sun and moon are as much part of the creation as the animals and all people for that matter.

I am a Secular Franciscan who struggles with some of the Church's teachings. God created the world and saw that it was good. God created every human being in their own image. And it was GOOD. However, as part of the liturgy, we - the people of God- have to say: "I am not worthy..."; This doesn't make sense to me.

Listening to others and reading articles, I am intrigued by the sense of guilt in the Christian faith. I suppose it all stems from the theology of 'Original Sin' (I am bad without doing anything wrong). Whatever happened to 'Original Blessing'? How many doctrines are human-made convenience for power and control? The history of the Church is not without greed and power struggles, and those struggles are not dissimilar to the times of the Early Church. The Church consists of people like you and I. With their own insecurities and weaknesses as well as their egos.

I wonder if the concept of Original Sin lies at the foundation of our general Atelophobia - the fear of imperfection. Of not being 'enough' - smart enough, worthy enough, holy enough... I am not saying we have to be self-sufficient, or self-reliant, not at all.  It is about how we see ourselves in our community. Is this fear of 'not-enough' something we tell ourselves, is it imposed by the Church, workplace or even something we picked up in childhood? Or is 'guilt' and 'not good enough' a human condition?

The not 'good enough' is also fed by the consumer mentality. From what we are supposed to look like as successful people, to the car we drive to be 'cool', how we spent our holidays, etc. etc.

The question is, "How can we build a society where people are accepted as they are"? And when will the Church proclaim love and inclusiveness rather than the 'we are in - you are out' mentality.

Prayer, meditation, mindful awareness and spending time in nature may help us to foster a more realistic image of what it means to be a human-being created in the Divine Image.

 Peace  comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Buddha