Inner Stillnes

Nature is all around us. I know that seems an obvious statement.

Nature is all around us, and it is up to us to stop, smell the roses and take in the colour of the sky and take time out from our endless 'to do' lists. Sitting at my desk, I have a choice of writing a blog, getting up and clean the house or spend some time making bobbin lace. There you have it! 

Needless to say; there are many more things on my list on how to spend the next hour or so. Gardening, walking and reading are also high on that list. Time, however, is limited.

You can spend time only once, like money. Once it is gone, it is gone! To actually stop and ponder, and be present to what is around us, requires commitment.

Recently I have become a 'tramper' or a 'hiker', depending on where you live in the world. Rather than walking around town to increase my fitness levels, I have ventured out on to Mt Taranaki. To be on the mountain with the diversity of vegetation, the birdlife and the ever-changing surroundings, makes me stop and appreciate creation even more.

At the same time, those of us who explore our 'back-yard' need to be prepared for changing weather conditions, where to put our feet, and making sure there is sufficient food, warm clothing etc. Hiking, demands my full attention!

I had this romantic idea of going on solo adventures, spending time with God and Creation. The reality for me at this stage is that going off on my own is not recommended. I need to get my outdoor knowledge up and make sure I am safe when I venture off on my own. After some recent hikes, I discovered that the time I thought I had to pray and ponder, was taken up by my attention and focus on where to put my feet or my poles. The time of silent reflection was interrupted by other people in my tramping party. It takes a while to work out who needs to talk all the way, and who is comfortable with their own thoughts.

There are challenges in 'entering the stillness'. It is not necessarily about the stillness we find around us. Walking in town can be noisy; this is similar on the mountain; where birdlife and the wind through the trees can be distracting too.  

To enter the stillness with awareness of the Divine Spirit, depends more on our inner peace and restlessness. Wherever we are, there are sounds, wherever we are there is God's presence. It is training our inner peace and awareness to tap into the love and presence of God.

I am not sure that 'training' is the right phrase. Spiritual practices help us to be present and grow in awareness of God's presence. Saying my mantra on the mountain, is similar to my meditation practice at home. It allows me to foster my inner stillness and refocus my attention from those in my tramping party, to the Love of God in Creation.

 

 Seek Peace. Find it within.

Waiting

 

“Are we there yet?” 

I am sure a lot of parents have heard this question from their little people on the back seat. Maybe in combination with a ‘Mumm he is annoying me…”

 

Waiting, and having patience is something we have to learn, it doesn’t come easy. It takes practice. In our western culture, where we look for more efficiency, where we often hurry to get on to the next task, waiting is a nuisance. It slows us down in our effort to achieve life. We have people to see and things to do. We want to make things happen, not wait and waste time.

 

Christmas is only a few more sleeps. The time for ‘waiting’ is almost over. Children everywhere are anxiously awaiting the time where they may open their presents. The adults look forward to good food, maybe a few drinks, and catching up with friends and relatives and spending quality time in the park or on the beach. Well that is for us in the Southern Hemisphere! I suppose those in the Northern Hemisphere will sit close to the heater and play board-games!

 

Waiting. People do not like waiting. However, we practice this regularly. Waiting in line, in traffic; waiting for other people to answer our emails or phone calls, or even waiting for our children to finish their sports training. 

 

Waiting for the results of the latest blood test or ultra-scan. Waiting for a baby to be born, a person to retire or even to die. This form of waiting has a variety of emotions attached to it. Eagerly awaiting, with anticipation of what is to come.

Often it is not so much the time spent waiting; it is the uncertainty that plays on our mind. 

 

Waiting is about patience and trust. We know that if we wait, the light will turn green again, and we get our turn. The queue at the supermarket will eventually disappear. With patience, certain things will resolve themselves.

While waiting for the test results and the subsequent treatment requires trust. Trust in the doctors and other medical staff to help our bodies heal. The longer we have to wait, the more uncertainty can play on our mind. Our mind hate uncertainty; it becomes restless and creates more suffering by going round and round in circles and playing every ‘what if?’ Scenario under the sun. Centering prayer and mindfulness are helpful tools to combat this situation.

 

In this season of Advent, where Christians wait with expectation on the arrival of baby Jesus, is a time for each individual to ponder upon some questions. The medieval mystic Meister Eckhart writes: “We are all meant to give birth to God”. I have to work out how do I give birth to Christ within me?” What is my role in the world of social justice?

Waiting and wondering does not have to be lost time. Waiting can be a powerful tool to create the life we want. In this age of ‘instant gratification’ time out is a useful way to reassess what we need and how we can assist those around us. 

 

Buddhism teaches us to be mindful; to stay in the moment and to slow down. Buddhism teaches us that by being present, we minimize the suffering, rather than trying to bliss out or cover-up. 

 

The link between ‘Christianity’ and ‘Buddhist’ waiting lies in the shared notion of ‘letting go’. Unfortunately, Christianity is more concerned with ‘saving souls’ rather than with letting go, as Richard Rohr suggests in The Art of Letting Go. 

 

For me, Advent is not an empty waiting. I am invited to examine my way of life, how to be the best version of me and to be Christ in other people’s lives, as well as being Christ for others. 

       

         

Seek Peace. Find it within.

 

Advent

Christmas is upon us.

Carols greet us as we enter shops. They encourage us to focus on presents, to buy for our loved ones, rather than on the Divine Presence. Supermarkets started stocking the Christmas goodies weeks ago. The Christmas lighting has been on the shelves, ready for lavishly decorating our homes. The theme is to spend, spend and spend. Due to Covid-19 nor have we been able to travel overseas, nor have we had a decent holiday. We are ready for some distractions. People are tired, and are looking forward to summer holidays, time-out and catching up with friends and families.

Going on a regular retreat was a requirement for clergy in the past. Nowadays, it is a recommendation. Advent retreats were common, now they are hard to find. A retreat to take some time out of commitments and to prepare for the coming of the Christ child. Sounds great, doesn’t it?

How do we prepare for Advent and Christmas? Advent was like Lent, a time of sombre anticipation and reflection. Both are a time for spiritual preparation. A time for prayer, and in some traditions, time for repentance, and taking time out from our demanding jobs and lifestyles. The advent wreath with the four candles that symbolize Hope, Peace, Joy and Love, was designed to help us on this journey.

However, the world has changed. There are hardly any retreats offered. Some people would argue there is no need for this Advent preparation, the Holy Spirit is with us till Christ comes again. I think it is more complicated than that. When an Advent retreat was announced I was quite excited. A retreat in an intentional faith community, what else could we ask?

Silence, reflection and walks in combination with interesting, thought-provoking input sessions, nice food and restful sleep… that was my hope....

The wind was howling, the rain relentless and my room was adjacent to the shared bathroom. The bed was uncomfortable, the input sessions very gentle, however the food was fantastic!

Although it was not what I had hoped, the Divine inspired and sustained me. The Divine within us, communicating with the Divine surrounding us, guiding and challenging me. The struggles I have with Church teachings and what I believe, are continuous. The Church as an institution is facing tumultuous times, similar to just before Jesus was born.

Sometimes retreats are peaceful and move like murmuring water- restful and inspiring. At other times one is invited to visit painful experiences. Returning to those times can be a time of healing, of growth.

This Advent retreat invited me to look at who I am before God. Our preparation was the passage from Mark’s Gospel, where Jesus asks Bartimaeus “What do you want me to do for you?” To which the blind Bartimaeus responds: “Rabbi, I want to see again”.

I too want to see, I want to awaken. Although faith is not a merely a question of believing, with Carl Jung I can say: “I know”. Deep down, I know. I know God. But to see a glimpse of the Divine in daily life, to be encouraged, to experience God, that is what I want.

A while ago I asked someone if they ever doubted, had they ever hoped for ‘a sign’? She said, for those who know, there is no need for a sign. For those who doubt, no sign will be sufficient. I still like a sign now and then. A fellow traveller on the road or some wisdom gleaned from another person’s experience.

Going on retreat I had hoped for a sign, an insight in the Divine existence. Looking for something that is right in my face, all the time.

It is called ‘open-handed living’, it is about awareness and perception. It is not about earth-shattering experiences, it is about showing up and slowing down.

It is about being present.

May you find a retreat in daily life, be open to God, and live open-handedly

I wish you a fruitful Advent.

 

 Seek Peace. Find it within.

Questions

Occasionally we hit a brick wall.
No inspiration flows to the surface.
It seems all we have are questions. There is nothing wrong with questions. Questions are good. They keep us from being complacent or even lazy.

Questions and their answers may require action or change. Sometimes it is much easier to stay with the status-quo, to do what we always do. And guess what? You get what you always got!

Questions are often a sign of imminent change. Change in direction, change in commitment, or maybe a realization that no change is required.

Today I have been pondering church services. A priest stated earlier in the week that we don’t come to church for ourselves, but for God. He suggested we might not feel like going, because it is bad weather; we may feel we don’t get anything out of it, or we want some space for ourselves. He continued, there are days he does not feel like taking a service. Maybe he wants some time for himself too!

To be honest, I am not sure that his reasoning or theology strikes a chord with me. I am not particularly clear on the fact that we go to church for God. I am not convinced that God expects us to show up. After all, if God is in all, and all things are in God, we don’t have to go anywhere to meet God.

I think people go to Church for a variety of reasons, ranging from connecting with like-minded people, to hoping for spiritual nourishment or inspiration. Maybe it does make them feel good? Those who have been brought up in the Roman Catholic Church might think they are under obligation? During lockdown, those in power stated that attending Mass by watching ‘online’ were fulfilling their obligation. This is another aspect that doesn’t sit well with me. ‘Obligation’ and ‘duty’ are red flags for power and control!

I understand the reason why we do things can be quite convoluted. There is often some historical reasoning and possible current hopes, which stimulate us to go to church. As long as the service is over and done within an hour, because there are other items on our busy ‘to-do lists’.

It is great to build community. The phrase ‘no man is an island’ certainly rings true. Community, and a sense of belonging are essential for our mental well-being. Church can fill that need and desire. However….

People are quite happy to chat before the service, rather than observe prayer full silence, because most people are caught up in their own lives and have enough on their plate.

Friendliness is vital for a Christian Community, but how many people stay behind and chat to newcomers? How many are willing and able to visit those in age care facilities, or who are lonely at home?

So do we need to go to church? And for whom?

My next question is, what is our expectation, and is that expectation valid? 

My hope is that the church community is engaging and interested in spiritual matters. That there are people with open and enquiring minds; people who are open to explore different concepts and a wider range of theology.

So far, my experience is that people do what they always do. They don’t seem to think or read much broader than their Parish priest, or the parish priest they grew up with. Indeed, the older generation seem to accept whatever is offered. The younger generation is too busy with work, family and sport commitments, the hour a week is all they have. Most people seem more interested in reality TV than reading philosophy or theology. So if you want anything more engaging than what is offered, you will have to find it yourself.

Faith appears to be dying out in our society.
And so I am pondering the consequences of that.

I wonder if the ‘double belonging’ like Zen and Catholicism will be the new norm.

Seek peace. Find it within.

 

Non-Attachment

The wisdom of my grandfather has become more apparent to me as I grew older. He said that once you earned your first dollar, you always wanted more. As a child, you learn that money can buy pretty things or useful things. You can buy gadgets or gifts. The question I have come to as a more mature person, enriched by life's experiences, is: what is a good gift? Is it something small and expensive, is it something practical? Or is the best gift your time and energy?

In our world, where Covid-19 is noticeable in every corner of the earth, the consequences of lockdown is on every person's mind, and consumerism has to take a step back. Gone are the times when the desire for travel and experiences were easy to accommodate.  Internationally tripping has come to a stop. National travel might be contemplated, but at what cost? Are we better to stay in our region?

The recent elections have given our Labour Party a mandate to continue. The reality is that no matter which party won, the economic crises that is anticipated due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, needs funding. The job losses, the uncertainty, the hopes and dreams of many are shattered. Maybe this is the right time to re-evaluate our hopes, dreams and spending. Perhaps this is a good time to look at saving the planet and our bank balances.

I am astonished to read that one of the major chains in New Zealand is closing branches due to under performing sales, and at the same time it is announced that the CEO is receiving a 1.4 million dollar bonus. To me, that is incomprehensible! I am well aware this is not unusual. There will be more stories like this. My grandfather was right. Once you have experienced the benefits of having money, you don't want to be without. There is a difference between need and greed. There is a difference between what you earn and what you are worth in an industrial setting.

The lofty ideological ideas of a variety of religious traditions describe detachment, or more to the point, non-attachment. Maybe it is a good practice for the world of today.

Attachment is seen as the main obstacle to a happy content life by Buddhists and Hindus alike. They practice letting go; letting go of desire; learning to let go takes time. Those who practise meditation know it takes hours and hours of self-discipline to practise the art of detachment. For some Buddhist, this means 'nekkhamma', renunciation, or giving up the desires of the world to lead a holy life. 

For Zen practitioners, it is about giving up thoughts, and staying in the moment for it is all you have. Detachment of thoughts and opinions of others can lead to less suffering.

It is not just the Eastern Philosophies who encourage non-attachment. Christians have a similar thought. Not to store up riches on earth, but in heaven. According to the Hindu tradition that could relate to karma. Or in modern sayings, "What goes around, comes around'. In Ignatian Spirituality, the word is 'indifference'; this relates to letting go of personal stuff and being available to God and neighbour.

If you thought that minimising of desires is mainly a spiritual notion, think again. There is a raft of organisations focussing on less consumerism, less wastage, and on intentional living.

Change the world start with yourself, seems to be a realistic starting point!

 

Seek Peace. Find it within.

Joie de Vivre

The world of marketing and advertising is exciting and full of colour and creativity; it is a multimillion-dollar business to support large and small brands of products. The messages are witty and colourful, often with a catchy tune.

We are bombarded daily with products we need to buy to feel better, look better or how we can make a change for the better. This moisturizer, that car, or even those clothes, will instantly change your life! We are told that ‘we are worth it!’

I do not doubt that we are worth taking care of ourselves, to enjoy life and strive to be happy. To live life to the fullest is an art most of us need to develop. Most of us become good musicians, painters or writers by diligent practice. Sure, having some talent helps, but it is the practice that makes the difference; endless scales, writing and rewriting before we publish, or whatever practice is needed to improve our skill.

Recently I pulled one of Anselm Grün’s books of the shelf. Anselm is a German monk who writes books and leads retreat. This particular book is about ‘joy’ (vreugde) – the joy of life, what inspires us, what makes us happy as an individual?

He says you cannot make joy; you have to experience it. To live a fulfilling life, we need to work out what brings us joy and delight, and a zest of living. What makes us get out of bed, what spins our wheels? Anselm invites us to revisit our past. What did we enjoy as children, followed by what is meaningful, or what gives meaning to your life?

To discover what makes us tick, what supports our spiritual well-being is the foundation of our zest for life, our joie de vivre. Whether you are ‘a bon-vivant’ or an introvert, to discover your spirituality, your desires for life and the bare necessities for living that life, we may need to look at what gives us pleasure and delight outside our regular chores.

For some, the ground of their spirituality lies in prayer and meditation. Attending church services on a regular base is enough to feed their spiritual hunger. There might be a time when that is not enough—a time when God feels at a distance.

Anselm suggests reminding ourselves of the delights of childhood may help us reconnect with our spiritual source. For me, that is about water. As a child, I could sit at a river or lake for hours at a time, watching the movement of the water. Water, especially flowing water, has given me a sense of connection with the Divine. Walking along a beach, feeling the sand between my toes is heaven!

Another way I reconnect with the Divine is through creativity. To create and be creative, to sing and dance or paint and write, whatever gives us joy is the bases for a spiritual grounding.

What brings you joy and delight?

 

 Seek Peace. Find it within.

Rage

Do you ever get angry? 

Not merely annoyed, but angry, rage, sparks flying? 

I get that. Not because the wind blew the neighbour's bin over and all the rubbish is on my drive, which is annoying. Not because someone is taking the parking spot I have been waiting for, that is frustration.

 

I can get angry, or is the correct term "disappointed", especially when I look at how the Catholic Church is organised, or how society deals with inequality. The injustice of gender bias, race, religion etc. Reading historical literature, I come to the conclusion that some things have improved. Still, other aspects of human society and equality have a long way to go. 

 

When I was a teenager, my mother subscribed to a Feminist magazine. I wasn't particularly bothered then; schools were inclusive, and when looking for career opportunities, we were encouraged to look outside the square. Gender issues hadn't surfaced in my 'straight' world, although I am the first to admit that there might have been classmates who were gay, it didn't seem a big issue at the time.

 

Recently, in our monthly study group, we looked at some of the bookmarks from Caritas. Those bookmarks are a good starting point for a lively discussion. 

We were all given three different bookmarks and were invited to choose one we had to speak to. I received the 'Subsidiarity', 'Human Dignity' and 'Participation'. Choices - choices! I could speak to all of them!

 

Subsidiarity is about decision-making at the right level. And when you make a decision, you need to be aware of all those affected and make sure the decision made is in the best interest of all. The 'Participation' bookmark highlighted the need for each and every member of a community to play its role. 

 

It was the 'Human Dignity' bookmark that received the most energy, it made me angry and disappointed. The lack of inclusive language, the assumption that men know best. That makes the sparks fly! Or as a friend would say, 'It smokes my tyres'. 

 

Probably unintentional, or simply because the people who put it together do not think about these things. But the lack of female images or pronouns for God, the assumption that the Church knows best…. It is the arrogance of the male-dominated attitude that grinds me, time after time.

 

Recently I heard that a female, Catholic Theologian, really struggles that in their religious (female) community, (consisting of intelligent women), have to get a male in to Celebrate Mass. Nuns, sisters of religion, are increasingly vocal about the arrogance of the male-dominated church.

 

I wonder if the priests are aware that without the Blessed Virgin, (clearly a female), there would not have been a Jesus born. 

It is surprising that the Priest claim to take Jesus place at the altar, should it not be a female? To represent Mary? Should it not be a female, like Mary Magdalene, who was the first disciple teaching us about faith and following Christ? Where are the women in the Church??

Am I a Feminist? Only if that means that we work intentionally for equality in both society and Church. I am not saying a gentleman can't open the door for me, or can't gift me flowers. I do believe in equality in church and state matters.

 

I find it astonishing that in all world religions and faith traditions, the women have become second-degree citizens. Even in today's society women are not paid equal, have no equal rights and are still victims of sexual violence. Males continue to decide what is right or wrong for a woman. Just as an aside. How often do the trouser length for male trousers change? Who decides on the length of the skirts, dresses, depth of décolleté Etc. Etc.?

 

At what stage will the Catholic Church accept women for their worth, not just for cleaning the brass, or taking care of the flowers, and continue to fill the church. 

 

Over the weekend, my husband and I explored one of the lovely walkways in our city. A pleasant meander along the river, birdsong and blossom galore. It was Divine! I have lived in this city for more than 20 years, and never felt that walk was a sensible thing to do; how terribly SAD. My husband acknowledged he has never had to think about whether a particular walk is safe or not. He doesn't think twice going for an evening stroll.

 

Here we are, I make no apology for my rant. I do hope that as a society, we will make serious efforts to reach a point of equality, in every area of our lives. Where male and female are treated equal, no matter what their sexuality or race might be.

 

What change can you make in your life towards gender equality, towards a minimizing of male arrogance?

 

 

 

 Seek Peace and find it within.

 

Praying Beads

I have this image of people walking or shuffling along, murmuring prayers as they finger their prayer beads. In the Middle East, especially during the Ramadan, you would see people in the souq, under a tree or sitting at their doorstep, praying the ‘Mishbaha’ (Muslim prayer beads). It was one of my earlier encounters with praying beads. When visiting Thailand, begging monks with their bowls and ‘Malas’ (string of prayer beads) were a common sight in the cities.

Prayer beads are an essential part of the spiritual practice for a wide variety of people. Many faith traditions have a rich history of using them. Buddhists, Hindus and the Abrahamic traditions, all utilise this form of prayer. The religious traditions have their specific reason for the number of beads and the prayers they use for the beads. There is no magic in the beads, it is merely an aid to counting prayers, or loosing oneself in the prayer.

Ten years ago, travelling through Italy and France, I would see monks or nuns, fingering their Rosary, murmuring the prayers under their breath as they sat in Church or wandered around parks and streets.

I was intrigued! And envious. It was my desire to learn to pray like that. To be focused; to be at so at ease in my faith that devotions in public would not make me self-conscious. The beauty of sitting in silence in a church, allowing the beads to slip through my fingers as I prayed, or in the park under a tree, devoted to my practice. I was a long way off!

Praying the Rosary or using the Mala beads while saying a mantra is helpful as you concentrate on something outside yourself. This meditation practice has both physical and spiritual benefits. Physically it helps to lower blood pressure, slowing down in general and decreasing anxiety and stress levels. The spiritual advantage lies in getting closer to God, the God within and God without and being present in the moment. It is an aid to a deepening spiritual devotion and awareness.

Although most people are familiar with the Rosary of the Catholic Church; the Eastern Orthodox Church uses knotted ropes or beads for their prayers. The knots are used for counting the ‘Jesus prayer’ or the ‘Kyrie Elision’. The Catholic Church promoted the idea that praying the Rosary may benefit you or others. I don’t believe that at all. There is nothing we need to do. God loves us and does not demand any works of us. Praying the Rosary is for personal benefit, to grow closer to God as you spend more time in prayer.

The Protestants seem reluctant to use prayer beads, because Jesus didn’t use them, nor is there any reference in the Bible that promotes the use of beads. Some Anglicans will use Anglican prayer beads which are set out in a si
milar way to the Rosary but have fewer beads.

Over the last few years of praying the Rosary, reflecting on Scripture and praying have deepened my faith. When I go for my walks, I often say the Rosary as it helps me to let go of stuff in my head.

Do you use a mantra, pray the Rosary to stay focused on the Divine?

Open my heart to your Love.